I AM A PROUD PAPA 

IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM  REDEFINING FATHERHOOD AND WATCHING HISTORY BE MADE INSTEAD OF REPEATED! 

INFINITE LOVE & GRATITUDE!

The month of October is one of the most important months for me as a son because both of my parents have birthdays.  Although, I had somewhat of my own rebirth entering the first week of October 2000.  It was my first week returning back to work from a 90-day short-term leave of absence that I was forced to take.  In July of 2000, I sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) during a life-threatening car wreck that left me in a non-responsive coma for a few days.  Had I not survived, my role as a dad in the new millennium would not have been possible to help conceive, nor be present as a father when my first and only son Elijah, was born in 2002.  This past weekend on Saturday, September 28, 2019, on National Sons Day, and every day, I think about my son in today's society, and the legacy I am leaving behind as a single father that has raised him alone almost his entire life.  More than that, I took the time to listen to my son Elijah — to hear his dreams and fears and thoughts on the changing world around him as he begins to enter manhood as a legal adult next year.   

When my son was first born, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) had published the National Survey of Family Growth (2002).  Research discovered that single-parent families have lower levels of parental involvement in school activities and lower student achievement, as compared with two-parent families.  The survey also uncovered that children raised in single-parent homes are more likely to drop out of high school, have lower performance and attendance while in school, and are less likely to enroll and graduate from college than children raised in two-parent families.  

My career in Information Technology really took off as the 20th century ended with fears of a Y2K computer glitch.  The Gen Y population was enrolling or participating in webinars using online technology rather than attending the traditional lecture-based classroom presentations. Advanced communication tools have provided opportunities for children of the new millennium to grow up with a “We Are the World” mentality, as they live and experience life in a global economy on the Internet.  Email and social media provide Millenials the connections needed to engage and create relationships with people from diverse cultures throughout the world without physically traveling across continents by various modes of transportation.  In the new millennium, you can use Skype, Zoom, or SnapChat if you want to meet someone digitally in person before you actually meet them physically in person.  The Millennials population is the fastest-growing segment of today’s workforce and the expectations are flexible work schedules, and better work/life balances.

Generation Z (also known as The Founders, Post-Millennials, Plurals or the Homeland Generation) are the youngest of the six (6) generations alive in our world society today. A significant aspect of Post-Millennials is the widespread usage of the Internet from a young age; Generation Z is the first to have Internet technology readily available and accessible at a very young age, and they are being exposed to an unprecedented amount of data, information, and innovative technology while being raised.  Use of the Internet and social media websites is the preferred channel to communicate and socialize with people at work, home, or across the globe.  Pervasive and ubiquitous computing devices are completely connected and constantly available in the 21^st century, and the Post-Millennials have been privy to advances in Information Technology research that rapidly has transformed the field, but also humanity throughout the world. 

Almost 19 years ago to the exact day, I returned back to work for the first time after sustaining a TBI that almost ended my life.  Now, on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019, I celebrated the induction of my son into the National Technical Honors Society in pursuit of a Career and Technical Education (CTE) in computer animation.   My son stood proud next to me and his Animation teacher of the past three years, Mr. Stewart, who has inspired my son along with his classmates in an area of technology that has only begun to emerge in the new millennium.  In 2020, it will be 20 years since my initial TBI.  However, my son will be graduating from High School and ranked in the top 10% of his graduating class of 441 and aspiring a college career in Visualization.  As a result, he has automatically been accepted into Texas A&M, a local university that has been ranked as one of the top animation schools in the United States.
  https://one.arch.tamu.edu/news/2018/5/5/ranked-among-nations-top-animation-schools/?fbclid=IwAR3U8l10nhV0mTOORqcO1ZtJLt7-WQuTcrenmY4-0s6pN6I62RO5nbZ9gC0

The help and power of real love from God and our higher power/higher self allows us to live in and from a place of infinite compassion for ourselves and others no matter what the situation or circumstances. My relationship experiences over the past decade and even the past several years have resulted in marriage, separation, divorce, and re-marriage. I have no regrets because I've grown and learned what true love means, how to love myself and others better, and also how to set healthy boundaries. In fact, my biggest lessons have been about forgiveness that has been applied not only to others but especially myself. Ultimately, I've been able to overcome and bounce back stronger after the challenges I've faced throughout my life because of forgiveness!

You can never be free of hurt, resentment, or bitterness as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts towards those that have treated you differently than you expected, or wanted. It is just not possible to be happy in this moment, right now, if/when you continue to choose to hold onto anger, guilt, or shame. None of those thoughts or feelings can create peace, joy, or anything close to happiness. No matter how justified we may feel we are, and no matter what “they” did, if we insist on holding on to the "bad" thoughts, feelings and experiences from the past, then we can and will never be free to move forward today and into the blessings we have in store for us just waiting for us to take ahold to. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison and/or chains of bondage keeping us held in past negativity.

When someone’s behavior isn’t as we expect and is coming from a place of hurt or anger, then we must try to understand that it is only a call for love. Some just don’t know how to get the love they want or need, but we can learn how to love ourselves and in turn, show others love that they may not know nor understand themselves. Many people are accustomed to reacting and/or retaliating to people or situations with feelings and/or thoughts of regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment, or sometimes even revenge. Each one of these only comes from a place of unforgiveness, which really is a choice and refusal to let go and come into the present moment. Only in the present moment can we create our future. Holding on to past mistakes, disappointments, and/or discouraging moments don't allow us to be and live in the present. It’s only in this “now” moment that our thoughts and words can be useful and powerful to bring peace and happiness today. Today, make a conscious choice of forgiveness rather than reacting with negativity to the negative people, places and things that are still stuck in the past.

Understand that there’s a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. True forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the pain and the past and releasing yourself from the negative energy that you’ve chosen to hold on to about the past. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the painful behaviors or actions of others to continue either. Forgiveness in my relationships has meant letting go by forgiving that person and releasing them. Standing firm in love for myself, then setting healthy boundaries on what I expect based on my example of how I treat myself. This alone has been the most loving thing that you can do for yourself, and for others around you! When someone doesn't treat you the way you deserve or expect, then you're giving that person mixed signals indicating that you accept being treated that way. Do yourself a favor by choosing to be forgiving of what happened in the past; letting it go; and then moving on to create and experience the joyous, fulfilling life of happiness that was meant for us all to have.

My favorite Hay House author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, published a blog before he passed away in August 2015 about the process of forgiveness:How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You: In 15 Steps
© Infinite Love and Gratitude  - The underlying claim to copyright ownership in this published work is reserved for Barre Morris II.

  

This post is an entry in the Writing Contest: You Are Enough, hosted by Positive Writer.

One of the pioneers of the Metaphysical field, Neville Goddard, once wrote in his book, The Power of Awareness, “In other words, concentrate on those thoughts or moods which you deliberately determine. Then those things that now restrict you will fade and drop away. The day you achieve control of the movements of your attention in the subjective world, you are master of your fate.”  So, what is a man supposed to do as a father in the new millennium?  If fathers of modern-day society were more actively involved in parenting their children, especially their son’s life, would over ninety percent of all prison inmates incarcerated in the United States be men?  Would over ninety percent of all homicides be committed by males, or all mass homicides be committed by males under the age of twenty-five? If fathers expressed more love and affection to their children throughout their lives, would mental illnesses and suicide rates, domestic violence and aggression towards women, or drug overdoses continue to rise to all-time highs in American society today?
     The role of American men in the workplace, and at home in the family has been dramatically transformed over the past decades.  There is a wide range of research and statistics related to the effect that fathers can have on their children. A father’s expression of love and active involvement can have a lasting and positive impact, even if fathers do not share a home with their children.  The love, affection, support and active involvement of a father, or lack thereof, may therefore answer, and present solutions to some of the most alarming and detrimental problems plaguing society and families today.
     There are, and have been many people living in societies all over the world with a false male role belief system. Different cultures define men in healthy and unhealthy ways.  Generations of boys and men have been wired into the 21st century and programmed with false identities, outdated definitions of masculinity, and a false male role belief system. Consequently, many boys have grown up with crippling and unrealistic expectations of what a man and father is.  Then, later have to deal with the sometimes-harsh reality of results from negative and self-defeating thinking patterns.  Too many boys and men hold the belief that their value is based on their job, the money they earn, their reputation and status, the material possessions they have acquired, or the number of women they have sex with.  Little boys have been told when they are growing up that they have to be brave and strong, and cannot cry, or express feelings or affection without appearing weak.  In essence, boys have been conditioned to think and believe that they have to suppress or deny their emotions if they are to going “make it” as a man in today’s world. 
     Two-parent households and the traditional American nuclear family that includes a couple and their dependent children have been on the decline for decades in the U.S. Consequently, the rates of divorce, remarriage, cohabitating partners, and single-parent households have continued to rise since the 1960s.  Not only are Americans having fewer children, but they are having children later in life, and family structures, including the circumstances surrounding parenthood, have also changed dramatically.  The U.S. Census Bureau (2017) reported that nearly 20 million children under the age of 18 live with only one parent, primarily their mother.  However, the data also showed that the percentage of children living with just their father increased to an all-time high in U.S. history from over 12 percent to just over 16 percent between 2007 and 2017.
     The summer of the year 2000 forever changed my outlook on life, after I survived a life-threatening car wreck and awakened from a non-responsive coma.  My personal injury was no accident, however. I never saw the Dodge Ram pickup truck racing against a Chevy Camaro through a red light.  Nor, did I know that Dodge Ram pickup truck had t-boned into the driver’s side of my car and pinned me to a traffic signal post requiring the Jaws of Life® to extract me. Although, the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) that I sustained reset some of the negative thinking patterns and false beliefs of masculinity and fatherhood that I had held for so many years. It also aligned the re-marriage of my parents after they had been divorced for over 18 years!  After their reconciliation, my first son was born and became the first in three generations of boys from my family who met his biological paternal grandfather.  The generational cycle of absent and non-involved fathers and grandfathers has finally been broken. 
   I am a single father and have confidently faced and overcome the most traumatic and stressful life-changing events with faith, acceptance, desire, determination, and my subjective attention directed on changing negative circumstances into positive outcomes.  As the new millennium started and the 20th century ended, the definition of masculinity and the role of a father with his children changed for me.  A father’s expression of love and active involvement can have a lasting and positive impact, even if fathers do not share a home with their children.  Neville Goddard wrote: “Live your life in a sublime spirit of confidence and determination; disregard appearances, conditions, in fact, all evidence of your senses that deny the fulfillment of your desire.  Rest in the assumption that you already are what you want to be, for in that determined assumption you and your Infinite Being are merged in creative unity, and with your Infinite Being (God) all things are possible. God never fails”.  Regardless of your relationship status, we all can play a role in creating a healthier family life and society for generations of children growing up in the 21st century.  My expression of love and active involvement in my children’s life, especially in my son's life has never failed since he was born, and it has had a lasting and positive impact on him for sure! © Infinite Love and Gratitude  - The underlying claim to copyright ownership in this published work is reserved for Barre Morris II.